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2012: Release. Replenish. Rebirth

Posted on January 27, 2012 by Meegan, Blue Moon Mama

I’ve been thinking about writing this post since New Year’s day but I’ve struggled with finding time for blogging. Actually the real root of the problem is that I’m struggling to find time for myself, possibly because I’m not really sure who that person is any more. The past 3 years have seen HUGE changes in my life: a cross country move from California to Virginia, the loss of our support system, my first pregnancy, moving into our first (leased) house, giving birth, new motherhood, a second very hard pregnancy, birthing my second child, moving into another apartment, caring for two babies under age two. Although slot of these huge changes have been quite joyful they’ve also been very hard & have changed me so much on the inside that I’m not quite sure who I am any more. Suffice it to say 2011 was my year of Struggle.

In 2012 I will turn 40! I feel like this is going to be a BIG year for me personally. As I move into the middle half of my life I want to lose emotional baggage I’ve been lugging around for two decades & finally step into my own power as a strong, creative light filled woman; the woman I’ve refused to let shine all of my adult life. Age 40 marks the beginning of middle life & I am ready to embrace this new stage in life, one I’ve looked forward to for years. I’ve always felt that I would be a late bloomer and now I am ready. And so THIS YEAR will be different. I have approximately Nine months before I turn 40. How appropriate! The same amount of time it takes to be born. Over the next nine months I WILL find my power and rebirth myself by taking charge of my life.

So, this year instead of one word to lead me thru the year I’ve chosen 3 words to act as my guide: RELEASE. REPLENISH. REBIRTH.

Release: expectations, judgements, fears, anxieties, negative thinking, stress, anything I can’t control, and the past.

Replenish: fill myself with light, care for my soul, focus on positivity, focus on peace & contentment, take time for ME, reconnect with things I love like classical music, jazz, candles, books, bubble baths, creating, learning.

Rebirth: do the work I need to do to be my best & live my best life, accept & be confident that I am GREAT. Let go of anything not working in my life and move towards a new path.

Right now I’m trying to just sit quietly with all these big thoughts & feelings, trying to find my essential self amidst all the intense changes I’ve experienced the last few years. I feel like a butterfly about to emerge from my cocoon.

Posted in Inspiration | 2 Comments

Happy 2nd Birthday, Nora!!

Posted on January 1, 2012 by Meegan, Blue Moon Mama

Happy New Year Everyone! New Year’s Day is pretty important to our little family. Besides being a holiday it’s our daughter’s birthday and our ANNIVERSARY as well! Happy 7th anniversary to us! It’s so hard to believe that it’s been 7 years since I married my husband, even harder to believe that Nora is 2 years old! Where does the time go? I just want to freeze time and hold everyone like this for awhile. I love my beautiful babies and baby/toddlerhood is so fleeting. I’m trying to enjoy every moment and hopefully make it enjoyable for my little ones as well. I think Nora had a pretty good birthday. She woke up at about 7 am and while laying in the bed she could see her bouquet of birthday balloons in the living room. She got so excited and we all had to rush out immediately to see the balloons, in all our bedhaired glory. After a few minutes of checking out her balloons (My little pony balloons) she noticed the big pile of presents to open on the dining room table and we all went to the table where she began opening her gifts. It took several hours to get through opening the presents because she had to take breaks to play with each gift. It was too cute. She savored each and every gift completely before moving on to the next. I don’t remember ever doing that with birthday or christmas gifts. I’ve always just torn into them all, one immediately after the next, wondering what was next to come . Nora just stayed in the moment and enjoyed each gift slowly, an excellent lesson for me as I try to focus on being more mindful and living in the moment. Most of the gifts were hibbie (horse themed) or owl themed, the two things she loves most.

After spending the morning opening presents I baked Nora’s birthday cake and my husband John decorated it with a pink icing drawing of Nora’s favorite My Little Pony character, Pinkie Pie. Nora blew out the candles and we all ate way too much cake, except for Wyatt of course who got to eat babyfood instead. We played, watched movies and had a really nice day.

Posted in Random Thoughts | 1 Comment

Blog Recommendation: mattlogelin.com

Posted on December 16, 2011 by Meegan, Blue Moon Mama

I was browsing Amazon yesterday and it recommended a book for me: Two Kisses for Maddy which I’m definitely going to buy once all the holiday hoopla is over and I can afford to buy a little stuff for myself again. Reading the book description and seeing that the writer is a blogger made me hunt down his blog to read and after just a dozen of the earliest entries and two of the newest entries I AM ALREADY HOOKED. I thought since I love it already, maybe some of you would like to check it out too. I believe the blogger began the blog to record the birth of the couples first child but then the horrific happens and his beautiful wife dies within a day of giving birth to their premature baby, with out ever getting to hold their sweet daughter. It’s absolutely heartbreaking but the blog isn’t just about loss and sadness. It’s an excellent read for anyone who just enjoys a good parenting blog. So check it out if you haven’t already!!

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Mommy Guilt

Posted on December 16, 2011 by Meegan, Blue Moon Mama

Feeling (and looking) like a used dishrag lately. Wyatt is about to be 6 months old & is going thru alot of changes particularly napping/sleeping (he doesn’t want to) and TEETHING. His two bottom teeth have just broken thru the gums. So needless to say he has been CRABBY and very high maintenance. It’s a rough time, made a bit rougher because I’m having alot of Mommy guilt.

Before having a second baby, Nora got all the attention, cuddles, & love that I could shower upon her. And it was A LOT! When she had rough days or was a bit naughty it didn’t really bother me because she was my complete focus and I could be there for her, patient and loving, to take care of her needs immediately. Then came my beautiful Wyatt and chaos erupted. It never fails that Wyatt needs something or has a melt down at the EXACT SAME TIME that Nora also needs attention. So I’m constantly torn between the two, trying to decide on the fly and in the midst of tantrums, meltdowns, feedings, and diaper changes who gets attention when. Often it ends up being whichever child has the most ear piercing scream
In that moment. It’s a juggling act I often fear I don’t do very well, hence my feelings of mommy guilt. Parenting multiple children is so much harder than I ever expected. You MUST be an excellent multitasked & manager of time, both areas I am weak in. I don’t expect perfection any more. Heck, I’m pleased when we survive the day with just minimal tears ( both mine & theirs). Yet I still wracked with guilt at the end of the day thinking of situations I wish I’d handled differently & (most often) wishing I’d had more one on one & cuddle time with Nora. The baby needs to be held so much that I get limited time cuddling & holding Nora. She’s not quite two years old & deserves to still be a baby sometimes. I worry that having them so close together has pushed Nora out of babyhood too soon. I know my kids are happy & get lots of attention and love yet I still feel guilty & constantly worry that I’m not doing enough for them. Ugh, the trials of Mootherhood!!! It’s the hardest work you’ll ever LOVE doing.

Posted in Mommy Musings | Tagged feeling guilty, motherhood, not living up to expectations, Parenting, parenting multiple children | 1 Comment

Final Fall Frolic

Posted on December 4, 2011 by Meegan, Blue Moon Mama

A few days ago we spent an afternoon walking around a nearby lake and letting the kids play in the fallen leaves. It was so much fun. I love Autumn but I’m also very happy to be moving into the holiday season.

Posted in Random Thoughts | 1 Comment

Slow down and smell the roses

Posted on December 2, 2011 by Meegan, Blue Moon Mama

“Take time to smell the roses
Before it is too late.
Today is full of promise
Tomorrow will not wait.” Marilyn Ferguson

“Take time to smell the roses
Before your day is through,
And think of people in your heart
Whose lives bring joy to you.

Take time to look for sunsets
And let your spirit sing
The earth displays it’s beauty
For every living thing.” Delores Acton

It’s hard to believe that we’ve begun the last month of 2011. Where has the year gone? I was just looking at photos I took of Nora last year on Christmas day and the changes in her are remarkable. She’s gone from a baby to a little girl so fast. Soon she’ll be turning 2 years old! Ugh, I just want to hold her close and slow down time. Each moment is so precious and so FLEETING. I keep trying to remind myself in ALL things to slow down, appreciate each moment, stop worrying or stressing over unimportant things and enjoy what really matters: precious time with those you love, persuing your passions, embracing each moment, noticing the beauty around you. Life may not be perfect but this is all we’ve got and if we really open our eyes we can see that we all have a lot to be grateful for. Rejoice in the blessings of being alive in this amazing world!

*I made the digital art collage above using a magazine print of a painting I’ve forgotten the name of, a few graphics bought at Cottage Arts, and a daydream believer badge from Shabby blogs.

Posted in Inspiration, Mindfulness/Blessings | Leave a comment

A token of appreciation

Posted on November 9, 2011 by Meegan, Blue Moon Mama

I sat down at the computer this afternoon knowing I only had about 15 minutes of free time before baby number 2 woke up from his nap. I’d planned to start working on a fancy new header to dress up the look of my blog a bit. Ever the procrastinator I opened a file to browse for some photos to create the header and instead came across a rose garden photo I took last year and a few interesting looking photo textures. Fifteen minutes, three textures and a few photoshop alterations later, with my now awake son on my lap, I made a little something for you (few) WONDERFUL people who visit my blog and leave lovely comments. You have no idea how much you mean to me!

Just in case you’re curious, this is what the original photo looked like:

Posted in Random Thoughts | 2 Comments